Urban Myths: Mochollo

When I was in high school, I did a LOT of creative thinking and writing.  Half was for class, and the other half was for the hell of it.  This particular piece of writing is the first part of a class assignment.  We had to create a new god, based on Greek mythology.  In creating this god, we had to incorporate a "need" or reason for this god to exist, pertaining to the general rules of god creation.

If you are familiar with ancient Greek mythos, you are aware that demi-gods are created by the godly entity bedding a mortal by taking the shape of another mortal man or animal.  Well, since there hasn't been a demi-god in over three thousand years, its safe to say that Zues is pretty randy.  It's not addressed in this story, for obvious reasons, but can you imagine?  The king of gods running around town with a raging boner, having had nothing but ratty goddess twang or his thunderbolt hands for three thousand years?  And do you think he named his dong?  Like, "let me introduce you to my thunder bolt", eyebrow raised and a sly, slick sneer at his lips?

I now introduce to you, Mochollo, god of organized transportation.

Zues, the ancient Grecian king of the gods, walked down the street of main.  He, for once since ancient times three thousand years ago, had decided to take a stroll down one of his cities.  He was excited.  This would be the day a new mother of a god would be chosen.  (Hera packed up and left after the war of 1812).    He was finally a free man, free to choose a queen of the gods.

There was a certain woman in that modern land.  She was a pretty gal, the most beauticious *making up words like a good little twat* in all the world.  Hera, who now was the queen of Corporate Industries, had put a jealous curse on her.  She was a polite lady, and her curse was she was cursed to say nothing but "excuse me" all her days.  It was a very dull curse.

So, on this fine day for a walk, Zues bumped into her.  He fell in love immediately, but she just thought he was weird... Wearing that toga in public and all... Eeewwww!!!  Anyways, she totally shunned him and went on her merry way.

This angered Zues, who then called upon his sister's (daughter's???) Son, Cupid, to help him.  Cupid agreed on one condition, which was that Cupid got first crack at overthrowing Hera.  And to use Zues' thunderbolt. Hesitantly, Zues agreed, and Cupid went off in search of Tommy, this beauticious gal.  He searched for forty days and forty nights, until finally, he found her.

"Are you Zues' Tommy?" He asked.

"Who's Tommy?"

"Are you Tommy?"

"Who IS TOMMY?"

Well, he muttered to himself, that takes care of that issue.  He went off again, in search of Tommy, for forty days and forty nights.  Finally finding Tommy.  He rang her doorbell, made sure she was Tommy, and flew up into the clouds.  He aimed and let loose an arrow of love.  Flittering, glittering, shimmering, it hit Tommy in the thigh and disintegrated.  Cupid had accomplished his goal.

Flying like Hades he made it back to Zues' top floor penthouse suite in forty days and almost forty nights.  Huffing and puffing he bowed low before the king of gods.  Zues gave him the lightening bolt and boy did he go to town!!  He destroyed a bunch of important stuff (empire state building, statue of liberty, etc) and overthrew Hera.  Corporate Industries became Cupid Co.  Go figure.

Anyways, Zues zapped himself to Tommy's house and rang the doorbell.  No one answered.  Confidant she would fall in love with him at first sight, he burst the door open, flowers in hand.

To his utter shock and horror, he found her kissing Hephaestus dressed as a vacuum salesman.  He was cheating on Aphrodite!!  Well, considering she was cheating on him with Ares... Do the math.  Zues stormed out, yelling, "Vacuu, man!!" over his shoulder.

In his pain and emotional turmoil, he walked by a pond which had a few baby swans swimmin around tended by a gorgeous young swanherd.  They shook hands, went bowling, and had a son!!  Well, as it turns out, the woman was really a swan goddess, disguised as a woman.

The son was a swanling.  It took eleven years for him to grow into a full fledged god.  He was buff, had blue hair and blondish purple eyes.  His raiments were slightly different than at of Zues; being an orange vest and comfortable fitting ripped jeans.  The only fault in his appearance was his extremely long neck.

Anyways, he was pretty good looking.  So good looking he acquired a rather large head.  He also knew how to swim, and in Nyx the Titan's book, he was a genuine potato.  *inside high school joke... May come in a later post.*  A real god.  A god of the most manly, daring, interesting, cult of men: the internal combustion transportation route indentation prevention crew.  God over all the roadways, cars, and problems that go with them.

And thus was born Mochollo, god of organized transportation